


1-800-273-8255

by tigermochaeyu



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/F, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 19:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12196143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigermochaeyu/pseuds/tigermochaeyu
Summary: Inspiration from the 1-800-273-8255 music video, my own life, and the Power Rangers movie. Trigger warnings for depression and suicidal thoughts/actions, so please stay safe and don't read this if it will hurt or trigger you. I want you to be safe.





	1-800-273-8255

Trini had a normal life up until freshman year of high school.

Everything in her life seemed to slot into place. Her family was picture perfect, loving her and her brothers unconditionally. She had lots of friends in school, no one bullied her, her grades were great. Trini smiled every day without fail, and her life couldn't get any better.

But, it turned out, it could get a whole lot worse.

Her best friend, Harley, was a beautiful and fit blonde girl who stood a couple inches taller than Trini herself. The two were nearly inseparable and Trini wouldn't want it any other way. As the two grew closer, Trini's mother started having.. reservations, about Trini's friendship with Harley. Trini stared at her mother confusedly when she told her to stop cuddling with Harley. Trini asked what the problem was with it, and the first crack in Trini's perfect life emerged at her mother's words.

"It's disgusting and dyke-y."

Trini blinked back tears as she nodded, going back to her room and pushing Harley away when she tried to cuddle with Trini.

Two weeks later, Trini's mom found her kissing Harley in her room and yelled at Harley to leave immediately. Trini stood deathly still as her mother screamed at her that what she was doing was wrong and disgusting, disassociating almost completely as the woman who was supposed to love her unconditionally screamed hateful words at her.

They moved a week later, and Trini didn't get to say goodbye to Harley.

When they settled into their new home, Trini didn't talk. Her father was concerned, because his daughter had once told him everything from what happened in class to how she felt that day. Now he couldn't even get a word out of her.

Trini went up to her room and barely unpacked a box before sliding down the wall beside her closet, sobbing silently into her hands for twenty minutes before she heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

Her new school wasn't the worst, and Trini kept quiet to avoid being picked on. Her new plan was to keep her head down low and never make friends again.

Until she met Carly.

Carly was a freshman while Trini was a sophomore, but the girl was undeniably beautiful and kind. She and Trini grew close over common interests and passion, and Carly became the only friend Trini had at her new school.

Carly took Trini to the movies for their weekly get together. Carly asked why Trini never let her come to her house, and Trini just shrugged and said, "My mom's crazy."

During the movie, Trini turned to see that Carly was already staring at her, her eyes flickering from Trini's eyes to her lips, and before Trini could stop herself she leaned forward and captured Carly's lips with her own.

The next day, Trini had 'DYKE' spray painted all over her locker and Carly wouldn't even look at her. The principal called her mom but she wasn't listening, drowning in her own thoughts and feelings. She knew her mom was just going to make her feel worse than she already did. A voice in the back of her head kept whispering things like how she didn't belong, she was a freak, no one would love her not even her own family.

The voice was right about one thing, at least.

When she got home, her mom was screaming at her. Telling her that she was a disappointment and a disgrace to their family name. Trini didn't say anything, just nodded and went to her room to pack.

She cried herself to sleep for two days straight and on the third day they moved to Angel Grove.

Now here she stands, in front of the bleak outer walls of Angel Grove, beanie on her head and negative thoughts in her head.

This school will be just like the others, the voice in her head says. No one will talk to a freak like you, it says.

Trini knows it's right, so she keeps her head down low and doesn't let any pretty girl make her feel special.

Her plan works for a year.

Her mother yells at her daily for any kind of information on her life, begs her to make at least one friend. Trini bites back the urge to say every friend she's ever made has ruined her life. The voice in her head says no one would want to be her friend anyways.

Her plan is ruined by four kids with explosives.

She finds herself standing in front of a black rock wall while the guy who always stares at her slams into it with a pickaxe. She keeps her eyes on the wall, refusing to make eye contact with the girl here. Doesn't want the confusing feelings to ruin her life again.

She's handed a yellow gemstone and suddenly she's running from mine security, the only girl in twenty miles running right beside her and telling her where to go. They pile into the van the kid with the explosives is driving and are on the cusp of escaping when Trini spots a train coming toward them. She warns them that they won't make it, but no one seems to listen to her. The voice in her head says that she hopes they don't make it. And she hates herself because it's right.

They don't make it.

Except Trini wakes up in her own bed, perfectly fine, and she sighs disappointedly before going to the bathroom and ripping her door off of its hinges.

She goes back to the mine after school, determined to either figure out what's wrong with her or sit with these increasingly negative thoughts swirling in her head. The other four are there too, and when Trini tries to run for it she's followed by the only other girl among them.

"Stop!" She hears her yell, and she turns to see that it's not just any girl.

It's Kimberly Hart.

Of all of the girls at Angel Grove High, the prettiest and formerly most popular is standing in front of her, trying to get Trini to talk to her.

Trini panics, because these thoughts that she shouldn't be having about girls are happening because Kim is standing there in the sun with her newly cut hair and she looks beautiful and the voice in Trini's head is telling her she's a freak so she does the one thing she can do.

She runs and jumps over the ravine.

For a moment, she feels safe from the unnatural feelings and from socialization, but then the other four are jumping over the ravine and Billy falls and then he's okay and everyone jumps down to him until it's just Kim and Trini.

Kim doesn't know Trini's name, because who would want to know a loner loser like Trini? But she can't help the stab of disappointment she feels.

She tries to leave, but Kim is asking for her water, and against all of her better judgement and against the voice in her head, Trini gives her the water bottle. She just wants to go home and pretend none of this ever happened and-

And Kim throws her off the cliff with her.

They find out that they're Power Rangers and that they can't even get their armor because they're basically incompetent.

It's all your fault, the voice in her head says, it's all your fault because you're a freak.

Training is painful, and Trini guiltily finds herself enjoying the pain. Pushing herself harder and harder until the point of breaking. She goes home every day and pokes at her scars and bruises, relishing in the way pain spreads from the would through her body. The voice in her head tells her she deserves the pain, and she knows it's right.

Trini and the other rangers have a bonfire the night before Rita is supposed to end the world if they can't get their shit together. Billy suggests they spill their secrets.

Trini smiles sadly when Zack talks about how much he loves his mom, thinking back on a time when she didn't feel anxious when she was in the same room as her mother. Billy gets the first real laugh out of Trini in months when he admits he likes country music, and feels tears stinging her eyes when he talks about missing his dad. Jason doesn't say anything, saying everyone knows who he is already. Kim doesn't say anything either, opting to skip herself. Then all eyes are on Trini.

She tells them how she's moved three schools in three years. Doesn't tell them why, just that she prefers it that way so that her parents don't worry about her relationships. Zack asks if it's boyfriend troubles, changing his question to girlfriend troubles at her scoff and sarcastic remark.

"My family is so normal, too normal. They believe in labels." They believe in insults "They'd like me to dress differently." Less manly. "Have the kind of friends they want me to have." The ones that she won't kiss. "I just don't know how to tell them what's really going on with me." That she wants to die.

Billy lets her know that she's with them now, and she can't stop the question that passes her lips, the alcohol in her system making her care even less about everything. Making her numb.

"Am I?"

The voice in her head tells her she's not. That they're only in this until they save the world and then everyone will drop her. That none of them care about her.

As they leave she looks over the side of the cliff, swaying slightly from the amount of alcohol in her system. She wonders if the fall would kill her. She wishes the fall would kill her. She doesn't deserve to be a Power Ranger, she doesn't deserve to be anything.

When she finally falls asleep, she wakes up to Rita in her face. She tries to fight back, but the rogue ranger is too strong.

"The other Rangers, they don't care about you!" Rita yells, and Trini knows she's right. She knows she's the odd one out. She knows she's the freak.

Despite herself Trini tries to fight her again, this time with Rita's armor glowing around her skin, and she fails miserably. Rita holds her in the air by her neck, pins her to the wall, and Trini gives up her fight.

"Do it!" She screams against the hand on her throat. "Just fucking do it! Kill me!"

"Now where's the fun in that?" Rita asks in that sickening voice of hers and Trini tries to press harder against the hand on her throat, tries to make it happen faster. She can feel the edges of her vision darkening and for the first time in years, she feels relief.

But Rita throws her across the room, her lungs screaming for air as she gasps for breath. Rita tells her to meet her where the dead ships live before leaving, and Trini collapses to the ground in tears.

She meets the Rangers at the football field, explaining what happened with Rita. For a moment, she feels like they care, if the stutter step Zack takes or the horrified look in Kim's eyes mean anything. But then she remembers what Rita said, how they don't care, and she remembers that they don't.

As they run to the docks, Kim stops her.

"Trini," is all she says before yanking the shorter girl into her arms. Trini relaxes momentarily, letting herself hug the pink ranger back. "I'm glad you're okay."

The surge of emotion that runs through her terrifies Trini to the point where she pulls out of Kim's arms abruptly before running towards the boys, leaving Kim behind without a word.

They try to fight Rita, and they fail even worse than Trini did alone.

Rita kills Billy.

Trini wishes she killed her instead.

They drag Billy's body back to the ship, Jason yelling at Zordon to do something. Zordon says there's nothing he can do, and Trini can see Jason physically break inside. It hurts because she knows exactly how he feels.

Zack says Billy died for them and he would die for all of them too. Everyone agrees.

Trini doesn't believe anyone would even bat an eyelash for her, doesn't believe she's worth caring about, but she agrees nonetheless.

Their confessions open the morphing grid, and Trini hasn't felt the amount of happiness she feels looking down at a breathing Billy since freshman year of high school.

They manage to get their armor and they get their zords, hurrying into town to defeat Rita and Goldar. But they fail, and they hold a final defense at the chasm holding the Zeo crystal.

Trini can hear Kim screaming and panicking that she can't breathe, can see Zack fighting to stay conscious, can hear Billy thanking them for being his friends as Rita commands Goldar to push them into the pit.

"No one dies alone," Jason says, and as they fall into the pit Trini realizes she doesn't want to die anymore.

She wants to live for these four people beside her, the four people that are standing by her side despite staring their deaths in the face. The four people that fought beside her, defended her, supported her in battle. The four people that have been her only friends in a year. The four people that have cared for her when Trini couldn't even care about herself.

She doesn't want to die and lose them.

"I love you guys," she whispers as they fall, the five of them screaming in agony as they're surrounded by fire and scraping metal. Trini prays for the first time in years that it's quick for them, prays that they don't suffer.

But then she isn't falling, and she's connected to the four of them in a way she's never allowed herself to be before. She can hear Billy screaming that they're one big mamazord before changing his mind to Megazord, she can hear Zack breathing, can hear Jason asking if they're okay.

Trini looks over to see Kim looking at her, tears filling the pink ranger's eyes when she sees that Trini is okay, and Trini decides in that moment that she doesn't care if she's a freak for liking girls. For liking Kim.

The five of them work together to destroy Goldar and Trini slaps Rita into space on Jason's command, and they finally save the day.

They take the zords back to the cave and Trini stands on the cliff overlooking Angel Grove, her outlook on life shifted slightly. She feels someone come up beside her, and she turns to see Kim smiling down at her.

"Hey," Kim says after a beat of silence, Trini flashing her small but genuine smile in response. "I can't believe we're alive."

"Can I tell you something?" Trini asks quietly, Kim whispering of course in response. "The last three years have been the worst years of my life. I didn't see the point in making friends just to lose them all when my mom decides we need to move because I'm not being normal. I didn't see the point in caring about myself when no one else did. I didn't.. I didn't see the point in living anymore."

Trini hears Kim whimper slightly beside her. Trini sighs softly before continuing her confession.

"The day Rita attacked me in my room, I actually begged her to kill me."

"Why?" Kim asks softly, her voice barely cracking. Trini looks away from the setting sun over the horizon to see Kim with tears filling her eyes. It shocks Trini, because she's not used to anyone caring about her, but she figures she might as well if she's going to stick around with these guys for a while.

"I didn't think I mattered. Didn't think anyone cared about me," Trini answers honestly. "Then Billy died and I wished it was me. Didn't think any of you meant it when you said you would die for me, because who would want to die for a freak like me?"

"I would," Kim answers with so much sincerity it stops Trini momentarily. Taking a deep breath, Trini reaches out and grabs Kim's hand.

"I know you would, and I'm sorry it took us all almost dying for my to realize."

"You mean at the battle..?" Kim trails off, Trini nodding.

"I realized how much I cared about you guys when you were all dying around me, realized I didn't want to die and lose you guys. When I thought it was the end, my last words to you all were that I love you guys."

"That was you?" Kim asks softly, Trini smiling slightly to show her agreement. "I thought I was hearing things, I didn't realize you were.."

"My life might suck, but you guys are the only thing in a long time keeping me going," Trini admits, and suddenly she's being pulled into Kim, the pink ranger hugging her tightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't know," Kim says.

"Just stay with me on my bad days," Trini requests against her shoulder, Kim nodding vigorously.

Suddenly three other pairs of arms are wrapped around her, the mass of people shuddering slightly. Trini pulls back to see Kim, Zack, Billy, and Jason all crying, and doesn't realize she's crying as well.

"How much did you guys hear?" Trini asks, her voice small and fragile.

"All of it," Zack answers, his voice cracking.

"We're here for you, Trini," Jason gives her a watery smile.

"Please don't leave us," Billy says, and Trini's heart actually breaks at the sadness in his eyes. She quickly steps forward and wraps her arms his torso, his arms wrapping tightly around her shoulders and holding her close to him.

"Never," she whispers, the other rangers joining in the hug once again, standing on the cliff crying together as the sun sets.

-

Five years later, Trini's standing at the altar watching Kim in her beautiful white dress walk towards her down the aisle, tears of joy filling her eyes as the love of her life stands in front of her. Her eyes flicker to where her parents are sitting, smiling through their tears at the sight of their first born getting married to someone who makes her truly happy. Trini's brothers, Kim's sisters, and the other rangers make up the wedding party, Zack crying hardest of them all because he's so proud of his crazy girl.

She thinks back to five years ago, when she wanted nothing but death, as she lifts the veil off her bride's face, smiling as her soon to be wife giggles through her tears. She thinks how she almost died, and how the rangers stood by her side through all of her depression, helping her get help and supporting her through the whole thing. She can't help but thank whoever's looking out for her that she survived, that she lived to see the smile on Kim's face as the priest announces them as Mrs. and Mrs. Hart (she took Kim's last name because that girl has had all of her in the palm of her hands ever since she threw her off a cliff). The feeling of Kim's lips on hers is just as amazing as their first kiss, and as she carries Kim back down the aisle in her arms, she's thankful she doesn't want to die anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been depressed as fuck all day so I'm sorry I had to get this out while listening to 1-800-273-8255 by Logic
> 
> Some of what I wrote that happened to Trini in her old schools happened/happens to me, especially the things her mom says to her.


End file.
